I’m petty, but my favorite thing to do after an election victory is watching the MAGA Right melt down. Normally, I’m not one to enjoy watching others suffer, but this is a movement that has caused so much harm and incited so much violence against the rest of us; I can’t help but feel glee as they throw tantrums online and off. Let’s get into it:
Cope-in-Chief
Starting off with the cope from the top. Trump replaced his chief of staff, Susan Wiles, with America’s least favorite white supremacist, Stephen Miller. The political press had just spent 48 hours talking about Trump’s conciliatory tone before he reminded them that he’s still the same guy, and nothing, even a blue tsunami, is going to change that.
If $5,000 was the carrot, Miller’s appointment is the stick. It’s meant to send a signal to Americans. Trump is still as powerful as ever, and nothing fundamentally will change, particularly around ICE activity in our communities. It’s also bluster with little to back it up. The public has made its views on ICE’s previous free rein crystal clear. Americans, buoyed by our new political reality, aren’t going to tolerate Miller’s fascist desires any longer.
But don’t worry too much about Trump. He’s also got his favorite pet project to retreat to. The White House ballroom, his safest safe space.
MAGA Keyboard Warriors
Laura Loomer and Libs of TikTok’s X feeds alone have been pure delight. You don’t have to go to X yourself since Bluesky is having a field day curating their reaction. I recommend pairing your MAGA Cope Scrolling with popcorn.
r/conservative has been in complete freefall. Patriots.win, the remnants of what was once r/the_donald, is in deep denial and spinning up ever wilder conspiracy theories about Texas. The MAGA faithful seem to grasp that the seismic shift has taken place and they are terrified of Woke 3.0.
I’ve only scratched the surface here, and haven’t even gotten into the extensive blame game currently happening in right-wing media. Thankfully, the always excellent, perpetually online researchers at Media Matters have put together a comprehensive rundown.
Apartheid Clyde
The biggest loser of this election cycle is Elon Musk. He dropped close to half a billion dollars this election cycle, spending $225 million in Texas alone. But Musk’s actual investment in Texas goes far beyond one election cycle. He bet big on Texas, moving his business empire there over several years, assuming it would always be a deep-red dystopia. Now Texas’ governor-elect, Gina Hinojosa, who campaigned on an immediate data center moratorium, has the majority she needs in the Texas State House and other statewide offices to force Musk back to the negotiating table and regulate his business activities.
Admittedly, Musk’s reaction has been muted and not as much fun as we’ve come to expect from him. He deleted a post from Election Day encouraging his followers on X to “vote red.” He made a mildly funny joke that his “election-interfering space lasers” didn’t work this time. On Friday, he announced that it was the end of the line for Tesla’s stupidest vehicle, the Cybertruck.
War of the Roses
The left has mercifully opted to delay most talk of 2028, instead focusing our energy on what we’ll do with our new majority, but over in MAGA-land the succession reality show has already begun. Trump’s superpower was maintaining a coalition that included the Christian Right and tech bros whose religion is AI, crypto, and prediction markets. Trump managed to keep pro-war, pro-militant Israel hawks in line with antisemitic isolationists. QAnon and Pizzagate conspiracy mongers with militia groups and billionaires.
Now the era of Trumpism is nearing its end, and the battle for a successor begins. Opportunistic MAGA creeps have wasted no time making their case for the crown. Vice President JD Vance was first out of the gate, blaming the war in Iran for Tuesday’s loss. Trump’s eldest son, Donald Trump Jr., quickly agreed with that take. Ted Cruz added tariffs to his critique and all but announced his 2028 campaign.
Outgoing Florida governor Ron DeSantis touted his state as the one piece of good news from Tuesday’s election massacre, and immediately leaked that he was considering a 2028 run. Perpetual GOP wannabe Chris Christie said that both Vance and DeSantis lack credibility, given their previous support of Trump. (Recall that Christie was one of the first mainstream Republicans to endorse Donald Trump in 2016, something he’d love if we all forgot.) Christie is also considering a 2028 run.
But Christie isn’t the only Republican who pre-dated Trump and chose to bend the knee, trying to elbow their way back into the conversation. Newt Gingrich isn’t running but made clear on X that anyone, literally anyone, would be a better 2028 candidate than JD Vance. Comically, he even includes Pete Hegseth as a better possibility. But my favorite one in this genre is Christian Right radio host Erick Erickson. He wrote an op-ed in The New York Times calling MAGA Republicans weirdos and demanding that Republican Party leaders reject the “weird, the fringe and the grievance hustlers.” Like with Christie, Erickson’s lack of self-awareness is something else.
Ctrl Alt-Right Delete turns 10 years old this month, which means I’ve been following these guys for a full decade now. I dream that the dam bursts, the coalition completely implodes, and that I can officially put myself out of a job. But the reality is MAGA’s breakup could lead to even weirder political alliances. So we’re gonna have loads to talk about for at least through 2028. Glad to have you with me for the ride.
Elon Musk spent close to half a billion dollars trying to buy this election, and he lost. CARD runs on readers chipping in a few dollars at a time, keeping the newsletter free and available to anyone who needs it.
The next two years are going to get weird as the various MAGA factions fight for control of Trump’s Republican Party. I’ll be covering all of it, the way I have for the last ten years. Now is the perfect time to support my work financially. Can I count on you to pitch in right now?
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ICYMI
Turnout Among Black Voters Surged in the Deep South (Strength in Numbers)
The Blue Tsunami Swept Doctors and Scientists Into Office (Wired)
The Masculinity Midterms (19th News)
Light of a Clear Blue Morning
That’s all for now, and I’ll see you again next week. Please enjoy this live performance of Dolly Parton singing Light of a Clear Blue Morning, dressed in full Americana. This song has been stuck in my head since Wednesday. For obvious reasons. Enjoy!
Schadenfreude as we watch Fox News celebrities and former Trump admin spokespeople come to grips with a historic shellacking. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLxgyRokbGk